When You Pray and Pray for Your Children and Nothing Changes

What do you do when you pray and pray for your children and nothing changes? 

Most Christians pray regularly for our children. We pray for their presents, and we pray for their futures. Perhaps, precisely because we spend so much time praying for them we can become very discouraged when those prayers appear to go unanswered. likewise, when things are going well for them, we may pray less because we tell ourselves they "don't need it".

I find that, from time to time, praying from a fresh perspective can help every parent/prayer warrior become more focused and more committed. Today I would like to share some of the ways I pray for my children that may help other parents see prayer for their children in a little different light.

First, I set aside a specific time to pray for my children.

Second, I pray aloud. If I try to pray silently, I find that my mind begins to wander, so I pray in conversational tones.

Third, I pray for my children in the order of their ages. Since I have ten children, it is easy to “leave one out” if I do not follow a system. Therefore, I begin with the oldest and pray straight down the line to the youngest.

Fourth, I pray my children’s names. I have not heard of anyone else who does this, but I think it is a great way to begin prayer for each child. As we all know, every name has a meaning, so I pray that each child will become the person his or her name declares him to be.

Of course, some names are more obvious than others. My easy prayer names are Alexandra—helper of mankind; Christopher—Christ bearer; Benjamin—Son of my right hand; Israel—One who has power with God; Gabrielle—Woman of God; and Judah—The praise of the Lord.

My other children’s names took a little more thought when I first began praying them. Francesca is taken from the word frankincense and means “free”, but frankincense was used by the Jewish priests to burn before the Lord. Therefore, when I pray for Francesca, I ask God to help her to live a life that is free from the bondage of sin, and I also pray that her life will be a sweet aroma in His nostrils.

Dominic means “the day of the Lord.” When I pray for him, I pray that he will constantly tell those he comes in contact with that Jesus is returning soon and that they must prepare the way for Him in their hearts, in their lives, in their families, in their communities, in their nations, and in the world. I pray that Dominic’s constant theme will be, “Prepare the way for the Lord.”

Victoria means “victorious”. I pray that her life will reflect victory in Jesus in everything that she does so that when people look at her they will see what it means to overcome the world through faith in Jesus Christ.

Stefan means “a crown”. This one took some thinking on my part, but then I remembered that in his first letter to the Corinthians Paul likens the Christian life to a race. He says that to win the race and be awarded the crown we must deny ourselves the things that will keep us from doing our very best.  “Like an athlete I punish my body, treating it roughly, training it to do what it should, not what it wants to. Otherwise I fear that after enlisting others for the race, I myself might be declared unfit and ordered to stand aside.” (I Corinthians 9:27) When I pray for Stefan, I ask the Lord to help him run his race in such a way that everyone with whom he comes in contact will be able to see that he is running his race to win the crown and that they will be encouraged to join the race to receive their own crowns that God has waiting for them.

Fifth, I do not pray that God will simply bless my children. I cannot imagine anything worse than having them blessed if they are outside His will. I pray that if they are not living as they should He will withhold His blessings and will call them back to Him.

Sixth, I pray that our entire family will love what God loves, hate what God hates, and want what God wants. I pray that we will all love to go to church and that if any of us is in a church where we are not receiving proper teaching that God will put us in a church where we will hear His word preached honestly. I pray that we will all love to read the word of God,  that we will all love prayer and appreciate the privilege of being able to go to God with our petitions, and that we will all love praise and worship. In addition, I pray that we will each find the way in which we can praise and worship God best according to the abilities He has given us.

Finally, I pray for revival and ask God to allow each of us to have our full part in it.  He has put us on this earth to serve Him, and there is no better way to do that than to bring His message to the lost.

Remember, there is no wrong way to pray for your children. Just find a quiet place, open your heart, and allow God to teach you pray for the most precious gift He can give you. When you do, I think you will be surprised at the ways in which He will lead you and strengthen your prayers for those people you love most.

In answer to the question, "What do you do when you pray and pray for your children and nothing changes?" You keep on praying. God is not deaf, and He is not slow. He hears your prayers and is moving in your children's lives--even when you cannot yet see the results.

Watch Joyce host KSCE-TV's United with Christ and hear her talk about her novel, The Warrior, the story of a prayer warrior who changes the life of a stranger through prayer.

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. Her novel, The Warrior, about how one woman's prayers change the lives of those around her, has been downloaded over 50,000 times on Kindle and is also available in paperback. For more information visit her website at Frontier 2000 or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.