What is the best gift you ever received? I’ll bet that the one that comes to your mind first was not an expensive item. Perhaps it was a small gift you received on a Christmas morning when you were a child; it may have been a meal that someone prepared for you when you were ill; perhaps, it was words of encouragement that someone offered when you felt that you could not go on. Whatever you consider the best gift you ever received, it was probably one that was given from the heart.
As we approach this holiday season, many of us are struggling financially, and most of us have gift lists that are bigger than our bank accounts. We would all like to be able to lavish extravagant gifts on those whom we love, but, the truth is, that those costly gifts are often quickly forgotten. This season I want to encourage you to look to your heart to find the solutions to your holiday gift giving.
Forty-five years ago my husband John and I took a trip to Kansas to visit my maternal grandparents. John had not met them before, but the three of them liked one another immediately. One afternoon John and my grandfather went fishing, and while they were gone, my grandmother told me that she wanted to give John a gift but that she did not have anything she thought he would want.
I assured her that John did not want a gift, but she insisted. Finally, she said, “I know! I’m going to polish his shoes for him.” I assured her that John would not want her to polish his shoes, but she would not be deterred. She had noticed how well-groomed he was, and she remarked to me that a man who was that concerned about his appearance would love a shoe shine.
In spite of my protests, Grandma went into the room where we were staying, picked up his dress shoes, and worked with shoe polish and a brush until they gleamed. She looked very happy as she worked on those shoes, and when she was finished, she proudly placed them next to the door so that he would see them as soon as he returned. I had not thought about that incident for years, but yesterday John mentioned it to me; he said that he was so humbled by her act of kindness that he had felt close to her from that moment on.
My grandmother had virtually no money, but she was a compulsive giver. She never wanted anyone to leave her home empty handed, and she was always able to find the perfect gift for any individual. When she was in her nineties, one of her sons signed her up for Meals on Wheels. As soon as she began receiving the meals, she asked the volunteer who delivered hers about his family. She discovered that he had two little girls, and after that she made certain that she always had cookies in the house. Each day when he delivered her lunch she gave him two large cookies which she had carefully secured in plastic wrap—one for each of his girls.
I can never remember receiving a purchased gift from my grandmother, but I remember all of the times that she made tea parties just for the two of us. These were not child’s tea parties with fake tea in toy cups. She made real tea with cream and sugar and served it with crackers and butter in her best cups. The tea parties always occurred when we were alone. Many cold winter afternoons were spent drinking tea and talking. As one of twenty-two grandchildren, I felt very privileged to have her undivided attention as we enjoyed our tea, and I opened my heart to her. After her death I discovered that she had spent the same kind of quality time with each of her other grandchildren. She had tailored those times spent with each of them so that the two of them were engaged in something that was special to that particular grandchild.
In The Vision of Sir Launfal, James Russell Lowell writes, “(It’s) Not what we give, but what we share—For the gift without the giver is bare.” A gift from the heart always costs the giver more than a purchased item because it requires that the giver share himself with the one receiving the gift. When we perform a task that requires an expenditure of our time and energy, we are saying, “I care enough about you to give up a little part of myself to benefit you.” Gifts from the heart require a good deal of thought and effort on the part of the giver, but, in the long run, they are the gifts that we always remember.
Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother tells her own story of educating her ten children from the first grade through masters' degrees. For more information, visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.
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