What Can a Grandparent Do?

Whenever I speak to audiences, I usually have at least one person who approaches me afterward to ask what grandparents can do to ensure that their grandchildren will grow up with Christian values. Many of these grandparents say that their children are not serving God and are not taking the grandchildren to church or teaching them Christian principles. 

On Mother’s Day, once again, a man approached me with this question. He said that he had been very careful to hold the line in his own household and to make certain that Christ was honored there. He then added that he was worried about his grandchildren but did not know what to do to help them.

“I don’t have authority in my son’s house,” he said sadly. “I feel helpless because I know that my grandchildren need to be taught about Christ, but the only time I can influence them is when they come to my house.”

This grandfather is exactly right; he cannot change what goes on in his son’s home, but he can influence his grandchildren. As we stood in the back of the sanctuary after the service, I shared with him the following story that I hope will be helpful to other grandparents who are facing this dilemma:

The first week in April of this year I visited my soon to be ninety-one-year-old mother who lives in a small Kansas town a few miles from the Missouri border. Because I was not raised there, I have never met many of my relatives, but when I visited this year, two of my female cousins drove down from neighboring towns to meet me.

As we talked, one of my cousins, who is more than twenty years younger than I, told me about having made a commitment to Christ nine years ago. She added that she had made a lot of bad choices and had gone through some very difficult times before she became a Christian. She then went on to say that the home where she was raised was “horribly dysfunctional” and that her parents had set a very bad example for her and her brother.

I was curious about what caused her to change her life. She was already in her thirties when she accepted Christ as her Savior, and I knew there had to be something that she could point to and say, “This thing caused me to face the truth about who I was and what I needed in my life.”

What she shared with me should bring hope to all grandparents who are grieving because their grandchildren are not being raised in Christian homes. She said, “I had two sets of good Christian grandparents, and they really influenced me.”

I, of course, shared one of those sets of grandparents, and I can tell you that my cousin was absolutely correct about their Christian example. I never heard either of my mother’s parents criticize anything their grown children did, but they lived their lives in such an exemplary manner that they were loved and adored by all fifteen of their grandchildren. I never saw either of them say or do anything that would dishonor Christ in any way. They were church-going, Bible-reading believers whose lives spoke to everyone around them. They did not compromise—my own father was such a reprobate that he was finally banned from entering their house, but, even then, they never said one negative word to me or my siblings about him. I knew that they expected the best from me, but I was never put in a position where I felt guilty about or embarrassed by my father’s bad actions.

Through talking with my cousin, I was reminded that grandparents have an enormous influence on their grandchildren. It is our duty to set a good example and tell them about Jesus’ love for them. If we live in close proximity, we can take them to church with us. We can tell them about Jesus both with our lips and with our lives.

We cannot change what goes on in our grown children’s homes, but we can control what goes on in ours. We can show some “tough love” when the occasion calls for it, and we can show “gentle love” the rest of the time. But the most important thing that we can do is set an example that will endure so that when our grandchildren are grown, they will remember how we lived and say, “That’s what I want for my life.”

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother.   Her newest novel, The Warrior, will be released June 1, 2012. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup

When Fathers Refuse to Lead

The Bible is clear about the roles of husbands and wives: The husband is the head of the household, and the wife submits to him. Right? Maybe not, or at least, maybe not all the time.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, “…a wife is responsible to her husband, her husband is responsible to Christ, and Christ is responsible to God.” (I Corinthians 11:3) Virtually all Christian wives agree that this is the proper order and God’s perfect plan for families, but what happens when husbands refuse to lead?

Perhaps the best New Testament example of a believing wife and an unbelieving husband is found in Timothy’s parents.  Timothy’s mother Eunice was a faithful Jewess who believed that the scriptures had genuine value, and she wanted her son to learn them from his earliest youth. Timothy’s father was a Greek and a heathen. We can be pretty certain that these parents did not agree about how their son was to be taught; yet, Eunice took the lead in teaching him and made certain that he knew the scriptures—the same scriptures that made Timothy “wise to accept God’s salvation by trusting in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:15)

What would have happened if Eunice had waited for her husband to step up and take the lead in teaching Timothy God’s laws?  What would have happened if she had taken the position that Timothy’s father was an unbelieving heathen who set a horrible example for his son, and it was, therefore, useless for her to even try to bring Timothy into a relationship with God? If Eunice had waited for her husband to take his place as the spiritual leader, Timothy would never have played a part in the establishment of the early church.

For a variety of reasons some husbands refuse to be the spiritual leaders of the family. When that happens, does it mean that the Christian wife/mother should stand back, keep her mouth shut, and let the children grow up without knowing God’s word that will make them wise to accept His salvation? I do not believe that we can find any scriptural precedent to justify such a position.

For a moment let’s think of the family as a military unit. When United States military troops are in battle, if the highest-ranking officer becomes unable to lead (through death or injury) the next highest-ranking soldier immediately takes command. Never do the troops say, “Our leader was shot, so now that we have no leader we are just going to stand here and refuse to do anything.” The next in command takes over instantly, and the battle continues. If he becomes unable to lead, the command passes to the next in command. Thus, it is possible that the command could eventually pass to a private, but under the rules, it is not possible to have no one in charge.

I believe that we have ample evidence that when the husband refuses to lead, the responsibility for leadership passes to the mother. This does not mean that she is disrespectful of her husband or that she does not demand that her children show him proper respect; it does means that she recognizes that she will be the one to equip them for adulthood because, “The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. It is God’s way of making us well prepared at every point, fully equipped to do good to everyone.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

All mothers should set up a time to read the Bible to their children every day—even if the husband is a faithful Christian who also reads the Bible with the children. Because husbands are gone so much of the time, they cannot always be available for Bible reading. Many travel as part of their jobs; nearly all work late from time to time; most have various meetings that can play havoc with “family time.” It is, therefore, up to the mother to make certain that the Bible reading takes place every day, no matter what.

Another thing that Christian wives can do to ensure that their children grow up well is to make certain that they have a relationship with male family members who will set a good example for them. Christian grandfathers and uncles can do a great deal to teach through their examples that real men serve Jesus. It is important that all children—and especially little boys—have Christian male role models in their lives.

If your husband is a Christian who takes his place as the head of the household and works to make certain that his children grow up knowing Jesus, you are blessed. If, however, your husband is a lukewarm Christian who would rather sleep in on Sundays and then watch the football game, take your children to church anyway. Set the example of the believing parent who knows the importance of church in the growth of a child’s faith. If your husband is an unbeliever who thinks Christianity is for women only, keep praying for him, and continue to set a good example through your own Godly life. Always keep in mind that in the absence of a husband who leads it is your responsibility to take that leadership role and equip your children to live for Christ.

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup

Preschoolers are People Too—Discipline for Babies

When we hear the word “discipline,” most of us think of spanking, grounding, sending a child to its room, withholding a privilege or some such similar action. Yet, none of these is discipline. They are all important because they are part of the punishment phase of discipline, but in and of themselves they are not discipline.

If these things that we have always imagined to be discipline are actually only punishment, what is discipline? Webster defines discipline as “training that is expected to produce a specified character or pattern of behavior, especially that which is expected to produce moral or mental improvement.”  If we accept this definition, we must conclude that if we want our children to become disciplined adults, we must concentrate on training them.

God has promised us that if we “train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) That promise provides a powerful incentive to train our children, but if we are to be successful, we must be willing to devote a good deal of our time and energy to the training process.

I believe that the most effective training is a two-part process that involves both physical and spiritual discipline. If either is neglected, children will lack some important elements that contribute to the well-disciplined life. I also believe that the training that produces a disciplined individual should begin early—preferably at birth. Therefore, in this blog I am focusing on discipline for babies.

Beginning with the birth of my first child I tried to provide a predictable routine that would help them thrive, both physically and spiritually. Thus, training began for our children the day that they came home from the hospital. Every evening I bathed them, changed their diapers, and nursed them. And promptly at 7:00 p.m. I put them in their cribs. Sometimes they fell asleep while they were nursing so that they were already asleep when I put them down, but if they were still awake after eating, I put them to bed anyway. I did, of course, get up in the night to nurse them, and I spent a considerable amount of time sitting in a rocking chair while the rest of the family slept, but bedtime had been established, and this simple bedtime rule began to bring order to their lives.

From the very beginning I established nap times, mealtimes, and bath times. I allowed my babies to nurse on demand, but meals were served at the same time each day. When my babies were old enough for solid food, I fed them their baby meals when the family ate. Because they ate their meals at the same time each day, as they grew older they rarely asked for snacks, and because they rarely ate between meals, they had good appetites at mealtimes.

Another extremely important facet of discipline that I began at birth was Bible reading. When my first child was born, I took my Bible to the hospital, and whenever the nurse brought her to me, I read the Bible to her. When we went home, I took time each day to sit in my rocker and read the Bible to her as we rocked. As Alexandra grew older she was accustomed to sitting quietly while I read the Bible aloud to her, and she did not find it difficult to continue doing so. As each new child came along—a total of ten in a little more than twelve years—he or she became accustomed to listening to the Bible in the same way. The older child moved from my lap to sit beside me on the couch while I read the Bible. Thus, we had a line of children arranged according to their ages with the oldest on the end and the baby on my lap. Because each child was introduced to the Bible reading at birth, I never had a problem teaching them to sit quietly during this reading. When they were very small, they occasionally tried to talk or get up and walk around the room, but I always told them that they had to sit down and be quiet until we finished, and they accommodated me.

A third thing that babies should be taught is to share. Sharing is important because it encompasses both physical and spiritual training—giving up something to benefit someone else. We tend either to “give in” to infants who cry because they want something or to ignore them completely. Neither of these options is a good one. I always talked to my infants as if they were adults. I explained to them that they could not take their older siblings’ toys, and I did not allow the older siblings to take theirs. However, I did make it clear that if no one were playing with a toy, anyone could play with it, regardless of who was the legitimate owner.

It might seem a little strange to talk to a baby who cannot answer, but I discovered that babies are able to understand language long before they are able to speak. By not only telling them that they could not do a particular thing but also explaining why they could not do it, I ensured that at the earliest possible moment they would begin to learn the rules.

Next week:  Discipline for Children

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.

Preschoolers are People Too—Be Respectful

When my daughter Victoria was five or six years old, I purchased a Bible Trivia game that I thought we would have fun playing together as a family. One afternoon as I sat reading questions from the cards to the children, I came across one that said, “In Chapter 5 of the Book of Daniel, whose hand wrote on the wall?” Victoria’s eyes widened, and she instantly replied, “It wasn’t mine!”

This incident clearly illustrates the struggle we had in our home with people writing and drawing on the walls.  It seemed that no matter how much I lectured/punished the graffiti artists, they continued to use the walls as their canvases. I found crayon pictures and scribbles on the walls of the playroom, inside the bedroom closets and even inside dresser drawers.  It did not matter that we kept a huge supply of drawing paper at all times.  There was just no substitute for a freshly painted/washed wall.

Not long ago I was moving a beautiful bedside table that John and I had purchased in 1965 into our guest bedroom.  It has an antique olive finish and is in perfect condition.  I was congratulating myself that it had survived all of those years and all of those children and had emerged in like-new condition when I opened the top drawer.  To my horror, the bottoms and sides of both drawers were covered with crayon scribbles in various shades of red, green, black, and blue!

Long after my crayon-on-the-walls days were history, an exciting new invention emerged—the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  By using it I was able to remove every trace of crayon from the wood interiors of the drawers, and now my bedside table really is like new. The experience, however, reminded me that keeping up with my preschoolers was a full-time job.

I was also reminded that my preschoolers played a vital role in the success of our homeschool. Their cooperation was critical, and in order to get that cooperation I employed a number of strategies that made it apparent to them that I not only loved them, I respected them.

I tried always to put myself in their places and imagine how I would feel if I were they. Consequently, I learned to think of them not only as children who needed to be taught and corrected but also as people who were just as deserving of my respect as the adults in my life.   

For instance, I never said to my preschoolers, “We are busy; leave us alone, and do not interrupt us.” That is just rude, and nobody wants to be treated that way.

Imagine that one day you go to a friend’s house for an impromptu visit. She opens the door, looks at you, and frowns. Just before she slams the door in your face she says, “I’m talking to someone else. Don’t bother us. We’re busy.”

You would be hurt and embarrassed, and you would be so offended that you would probably never go to her house again. Yet, this is the way we sometimes treat our children. We react to them as if they are nuisances who do not deserve to be treated with the same respect we show adults.

Always keep the Golden Rule in mind when dealing with your children. Treat even the youngest member of your family with the respect and kindness you want others to show you. Children have the same emotions that you have. They feel the same hurt, anger, and humiliation as adults. Treat them with the respect that you demand they give you. Help them to feel included rather than excluded.

Your preschoolers are vitally important to the success of your homeschool. Every day let them know that you are counting on them. Tell them that you are proud of them for behaving so well; tell them that you appreciate their contributions. Never be afraid to tell them that their good behavior makes your homeschool possible. They will be proud of themselves for having played such an important role.

About once a month in the late afternoon I called all the children together.  While everyone was present, I thanked each of them individually for something specific that he or she had done that month that had been a special help to me. For the very little children, their contribution was often that they had made me laugh or had made me feel loved, but when I listed their contributions, they felt just as special as the older children. It was a little thing, but I wanted them to know that I appreciated their contributions.  It is a practice that I highly recommend to all homeschooling mothers.

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.

My House, God's Rules

After they had entered the Promised Land, Joshua called the people of Israel to him at Shechem and gave them instructions concerning their responsibilities to God. He told them that they must revere Jehovah and serve him in “sincerity and truth” and put away forever the idols that their ancestors had worshiped when they had lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt.

Joshua told the people that they must choose whom they would serve—the heathen gods or Jehovah. Then he concluded by saying, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24)

Joshua was the leader of God’s people, but they lived in a world where wickedness abounded. All of the surrounding nations were idol worshipers who indulged in the most horrible practices imaginable, and there was an ongoing spiritual battle to lure God’s people to participate in their ceremonies.

Yet, Joshua presented a very simple plan to the people of Israel: He told them to make a choice about whom they would serve, and then he declared his own choice—that he and his house would serve the Lord.

I believe that today we live in circumstances very similar to those Joshua encountered. We have the world-wide Church with its millions of sincere believers, but we are surrounded by those who hate Christ and who are always lurking about trying to seduce God’s people to join them in their wicked practices. It is, therefore, important to understand Joshua’s declaration concerning his own house.

First, he made it clear that each of the people of Israel had to decide for themselves whether they would respond to God’s laws and live accordingly, and he warned them that if they deserted God they would be destroyed—even though God had cared for them for such a long time.

Second, he took authority over the areas that he could personally control. He alone would decide what would take place within the confines of his own house, and his decision was that his house would be a place to honor God.

I have known a number of Christians who keep lowering the spiritual bar in their own homes because they want to keep their children close. They overlook drinking, pot smoking, and porn because they feel safer “knowing where their children are.” I do feel sympathy for these parents, but I do not support their decision.

Minor children need to understand, “This is my house, and everyone who lives here lives under God’s rules.”  It may sound harsh, but this attitude is entirely necessary.

When our children are grown and have their own homes, we cannot control their behavior. We hope that our teaching and example have been sufficient to lead them into their own relationships with Christ and their own decisions to follow Him, but, when they become adults, children must decide for themselves whom they will follow.

The one thing we can always control is what goes on inside our own houses. Grown children who are not serving the Lord must understand that our houses are dedicated to the service of Jesus Christ and that no conduct that dishonors Him will be tolerated there. No matter what their ages the rule still applies, “My house, God’s rules.”

Joshua 24:31 says, “Israel obeyed the Lord throughout the lifetimes of Joshua and the other old men who had personally witnessed the amazing deeds which the Lord had done for Israel.” Those of us who are now the “old” men and women who have witnessed amazing deeds that God has done in our lives have a responsibility to the younger generation. It is our duty to never let them forget what God has done for us as a country, as families, and as individuals. By reminding our children that we are set apart for His service, we ensure that they will one day be the “old” people who will set the example for future generations and will say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker.  Her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother, recounts her experiences homeschooling her own ten children from the first grade through master's degrees.  For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup

When Life Hands You Lemons...Make a Pie

For the first five years of my life I was what one would call a “model child.” I was obedient, compliant, quiet, and well-mannered. Then, at age six, something snapped, and I made a deliberate decision to take a walk on the wild side and rebel against parental authority. Although six decades have passed since that fateful day, I remember every detail as if it were yesterday.

Although it was early on a Saturday morning, I had already eaten my breakfast and was lying fully clothed on my bed. The small room that served as a bedroom for my brother, sister, and me lay directly next to the kitchen and did not even have a door for privacy. While this arrangement sometimes presented a problem, it also allowed us to hear everything that was going on in the tiny kitchen and living room.

On this particular day I was listening to the sounds of my mother clanking dishes in the kitchen and waiting for the call that I knew was sure to come at any moment, “Joyce, come here.” Whenever that call came, I had always responded quickly and joined my mother at the sink to dry the dishes that she had washed. On this day, however, I had made up my mind ahead of time that when she called, I would refuse to obey.

When I heard her call my name, I responded, “I don’t want to dry the dishes!”

“Joyce, come here.”

“I don’t want to dry the dishes!” I yelled louder.

We continued this way for quite some time with my mother calling for me to join her in the kitchen and me responding in ever louder tones, “I DON’T WANT TO DRY THE DISHES!”

After a while the clanking of dishes ceased, and I felt that it would be safe to enter the kitchen. Since rebellion was new to me, I felt a little guilty, yet oddly exhilarated by my refusal to comply with my mother’s instructions. I smiled sweetly as I turned the corner into the kitchen and said to my mother, “I just didn’t want to dry the dishes.”

She did not smile in return. She just looked at me and said, “I wasn’t calling you to dry the dishes. I made a lemon pie, and I thought that you would want to stir the filling.”

I was crestfallen! My favorite thing to do in the whole world was to stir the lemon filling as it bubbled on the stove, and my mother knew it. She had saved that part of the pie making for me to enjoy, but through my disobedience, I had lost the opportunity.

Then Mother said something to me that I have never forgotten, “When I call you, it doesn’t always mean that I have something unpleasant for you to do.  Sometimes I have something special for you, but you will never know unless you come when I call.”

Whenever I remember my day of rebellion, I think about the times when God calls us to do something that we assume will be unpleasant, or difficult, or unrewarding, and we respond by crying out from a distance, “I don’t want to!”

By refusing to respond to His call, we, no doubt, escape some unpleasant tasks, but we also escape the wonderful rewards that He has reserved for us.  Serving Jesus Christ is not always easy, and we sometimes feel that we are tired of drying the dishes while our siblings are allowed to play. But, if we are willing to respond to His call every time we hear His voice, we will discover that sometimes He has prepared something special for us just because He knew that it would bring us joy. The catch is: You have to respond to every call, because you never know when there is a pot of bubbling lemon pie filling on the stove.

For books by Joyce visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.com

Once upon a Time

I have one little granddaughter who loves stories as much as I do, and whenever we are together ,we spend a good deal of our time telling stories. In fact, all of the stories in my two children’s books www.frontier2000.net  were born in my imagination specifically to entertain her.

By the time that she was four or five years old, Fascia loved to participate in the telling of the stories, and she would often interject her ideas as the story unfolded. For instance, when I would tell her the story of Red Riding Hood, she always described a cake that Red and her mother made to take to Grandma. The cake was “purple with purple frosting and white star sprinkles. It tasted just like cherries, but it didn’t have any cherries in it.” The stories were always an interactive experience that were a source of endless entertainment for both of us.

I am probably responsible for Fascia’s becoming so involved in the story telling because, when she was barely old enough to want to hear a story, I told her that all great stories begin the same way: “Once upon a time.” After that whenever she asked for a story I would tell her that she had to start it for me with the words that begin all great stories.

When Fascia was seven years old, she began memorizing scripture as part of her homeschool curriculum. Apparently, on this particular occasion she had been memorizing verses from the first chapter of the Gospel of John because when I said, “How do all great stories begin?”

She responded, “In the beginning.”

Immediately, Fascia realized her “mistake” and looked embarrassed. She started to correct herself, but I stopped her. “No, you’re right,” I said. “The only great stories start with, ‘In the beginning.’”

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God….And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1,14)

These few lines contain the entire Gospel message, and they are at the heart of every Bible story and every Bible prophecy. If we were given only five minutes to witness to someone who had never heard the name of Jesus, I believe that using only these two verses we could present the Gospel message in such a way that he could receive salvation.

If we understand that Jesus was always with God and always was God, we understand that He was present at creation and that it was His power that spoke the world into being. We understand that Jesus is God both of the Old and New Testaments.

If we understand that He became flesh and dwelt among us, we know that He was willing to step down from His rightful place in Heaven, to humble himself, and to come to earth as a baby.

If we understand that we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, we know that He revealed himself as God’s only begotten Son who takes away the sins of the world.

If we understand that He is full of grace, we know that it is His grace alone that washes away our sins and allows us to come into fellowship with the Father.

If we understand that He is full of truth, we know that He is who He claimed to be—The Truth. He is not a truth; He is The Truth. Any “truth” that contradicts Jesus is not truth at all.

I am glad that I have a little granddaughter who is being taught the scriptures and whose heart is already set on Jesus. Sometimes old grandma’s like me become confused and begin to believe that the world’s greatest stories begin with a worldly idea—Once upon a time. It is a good thing to have someone who knows better, who can provide gentle correction and remind us that all great stories begin the same way—In the beginning.

For great stories written by Joyce, visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup

God's Button Box

When my youngest son, Judah, was five or six years old, he went shopping for my Christmas gift in my button box. This was done without my knowledge, but he had seen a particular button there that he thought would make a perfect Christmas gift for Mom.

The highly prized button was made of clear plastic and was about a quarter of an inch across. Shaped like a diamond, right down to its facets and pointed end, it was one of a kind in a box full of ordinary shirt buttons.

When Judah had secured his “diamond,” he found a piece of wrapping paper which he crushed around it so that the finished gift looked like a crumpled wad of Christmas wrapping. He then put his gift under the tree with all the others and waited for Christmas Eve.

When I opened Judah’s gift that year, he was beaming. As soon as the button appeared, he shouted, “I gave you a diamond!”

I told him how gorgeous his gift was and how glad I was to receive it. I knew that whatever I did, I could not redeposit it into the button box. After a little thought I went to my closet and took out my favorite sweat shirt—the one I wore every time it was clean—and sewed the button to it a couple of inches below the left shoulder seam. I then showed the shirt to Judah and told him how wonderful it would be to have that beautiful diamond on my shirt every day.

In the months ahead that small plastic button was the source of much joy for both of us. When I was working with Judah in our homeschool, he would often reach out and gently lay his hand over it, knowing that it was special to me. For my part, every time I saw that button, my heart filled with happiness knowing that it represented a special love connection between the two of us.

Judah is now twenty-seven years old, but even now as I retell this incident my heart overflows with joy. Maybe it’s just a Mom thing, but I don’t think so. I learned a valuable lesson from that gift given to me so many years ago with so much love.

I often think of that gift in terms of how we give to God. There is nothing that we can give Him that is not already his. The Bible says in one place that He owns all of the animals, and in another that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He talks about the treasures buried in the earth that man does not even know exist. He says in the book of Isaiah, “Heaven is my throne and the earth is my footstool….My hand has made both earth and skies, and they are mine.”

Most of the time when we give to God we do so by going to His button box and taking what already belongs to Him. God honors those gifts, and they are important because through that kind of giving we are able to help others in need. We tend to forget, however, that what God wants most is our obedience and our faithfulness. He wants us to show kindness to others and to share our faith. He wants us to love Him and spend time in His presence. When we give these gifts, we draw close to Him and share a special love connection with Him that only comes from having a personal relationship.

So, what can you give to the God who owns everything? You can give yourself; it is the only thing that you have the power to give. Fortunately, it is the gift that He wants most.

For more on Joyce Swann, like her Facebook page at

 http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup