Little boys love to attend church, and they love to pray. When they reach adulthood, however, many of them no longer have much interest in either church or prayer. What happens in those intervening years to change their minds?
A few days ago my daughter, Alexandra, and I were discussing the children in our family—my grandchildren and her nieces and nephews—and how much they enjoy praying. As we talked Alexandra said, “Have you noticed that the boys are much more interested in both prayer and church than the girls?”
I responded that I had never thought about it, but it is true that the little boys have a genuine zeal that seems to be largely lacking in the little girls.
Alexandra then asked, “Why do think it is that by the time they are grown, men are no longer very interested? After all, statistics show that many more women attend church than men.”
I spent several days pondering this question, and I now think I have some insight into what happens between the ages of six and twenty that draws men away from church.
First, we must remember that little boys are just men in the making. They are aggressive; they are bold; they like to be in control; they like to lead; they like to protect. These are all good qualities which are important components of what sets them apart as male.
Second, because little boys possess these qualities, they naturally like to pray. They believe that their prayers are important and that they will be answered. They have no problem with faith; they are certain that God hears their prayers.
Third, little boys are confident that their opinions matter. When they attend Sunday school and various other church related activities, they like to lead.
When little boys and little girls are put together in the same activities, however, little boys often pull back. Little girls mature more quickly and are much more vocal than little boys. Because little girls are women in the making, they talk a LOT. They are little girl chatterboxes on their way to becoming adult women chatterboxes. This is not a bad thing—it is who little girls are, and it should not be discouraged. The problem is that most of the time church activities do not encourage boys to be boys, and when they are faced with little girls who talk over them, they tend to shut down and withdraw.
Frankly, I would like to see a number of church related “boys only” activities as well as a number of “girls only” activities. I would like to see church sports teams for little boys—flag football, baseball, etc. I would like to see well-chaperoned camping trips that include as many fathers as are able to attend. I would like to see little boys ushering, handing out bulletins, and doing many other jobs normally reserved for adult men. It is important for little boys to understand that church is not just for women; it is a place for men to lead, and teach, and serve.
If we want our little boys to grow into men who are faithful church goers, we must make certain that they grow up knowing that the church needs bold men of God who are willing to take the lead in teaching, decision making, and protecting the flock. If we can accomplish this, we will make certain that the next generation will have the leadership necessary to advance Christianity throughout the world.
Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.
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