A Really Good Mom

Today it is especially hard to know how to be a “good” mom. Child psychologists, educators, and church leaders all have their own definitions of what constitutes an outstanding mother.

Some “experts” say that the best mothers are ones who demand little and allow their children to live their own lives—even to the extent that they may in their early teens decide that they were born into a body of the “wrong” sex.  Those who advocate this method of parenting believe that she who mothers least mothers best.

On the other hand, some child “experts” advocate the form of parenting adopted by Chinese Tiger Moms who force their children to study and practice on musical instruments until they are exhausted. Tiger Moms are cold, abusive, and cruel; their children fear them and cower at the sight of them. Yet, these moms are being praised in our press as moms who know how to get results.

Somewhere in between are the “experts” who advocate more normal parenting but vary in their opinions of how much should be expected of a child in terms of obedience, good school performance, and individual responsibility. They run the gamut from those who punish with a “time out” to those who advise corporal punishment to combat disobedience.

 As I thought about writing my Mother’s Day blog, I searched the Bible for scriptures that would shed some light on what we mothers need to do to raise godly children. Surprisingly, the Bible has little to say about mothering. It provides some examples of excellent mothers, but it does not give much specific advice for how a mother ought to fulfill her duties. I did, however, find a recurring theme throughout both the Old and New Testaments that I believe is the key to becoming a really good mom.

Little children were brought for Jesus to lay his hands on them and pray. But the disciples scolded those who brought them. “Don’t bother him,” they said.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and don’t prevent them. For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” And he put his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.  Matthew 19:13-15

First, bring your children to Jesus at birth, and keep them close to Him throughout their lives. It took some effort for those mothers mentioned in Matthew to physically take their children to see Jesus and to experience His blessing, and it takes some effort for us to take our children to church, to Sunday school, to vacation Bible school, and to the various church activities designed for children. It takes physical effort on our parts to make certain that they are involved in the kinds of activities that will lay the foundation for a life-long relationship with Jesus Christ. But when we understand that He is waiting to bless them and fellowship with them, I think that we would be very remiss not to take advantage of the many opportunities available to our children, if only we are willing to take them to Him.

You know how, when you were a small child, you were taught the Holy Scriptures; and it is these that make you wise to accept God’s salvation by trusting in Christ Jesus. The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. It is God’s way of making us well prepared at every point, fully equipped to do good to everyone.  2 Timothy 3:15-17

Second, teach our children the scriptures. In the above passage Paul is addressing Timothy who was taught the scriptures by his mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois. (2 Timothy 1:5) Timothy’s father was Greek and probably not a believer; yet, his mother did not neglect teaching her son the scriptures that would prepare him for a powerful ministry which would begin while he was still a very young man.

As Christian women we talk quite a lot about our husbands being the heads of the household. We tend to wait for them to take the lead in all matters spiritual. However, if for whatever reason our husbands fail to take the lead in reading the Bible to our children, then it is up to us to get the job done. I read the Bible to my ten children every day from the day of their births. Sometimes my husband was present for these readings, but more often than not, he was absent. No mother need ever neglect teaching her children the scriptures because her husband is working or away on business, or simply not a Christian. By taking on the responsibility of teaching them God’s word, she will be making them wise to accept God’s salvation by trusting in Jesus Christ and fully equipping them to do good to everyone.

O Israel, listen: Jehovah is our God, Jehovah alone. You must love Him with all your heart, soul, and might. And you must think constantly about these commandments I am giving you today. You must teach them to your children and talk about them when you are at home or out for a walk; at bedtime and the first thing in the morning. Tie them on your finger, wear them on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house.  Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Third, make the scriptures a constant presence in our homes. We mothers spend more time with our children than anyone else. We are their first teachers and their first examples of Christianity in action. The Bible admonishes us to love God above all else and to think constantly about his commandments. Then it instructs us to teach them to our children—not just when we are having family Bible reading or are in a church setting.  Every minute of every day we are to teach our children, both by example and by the spoken word to love Him more than anything and to study His word so that they will be prepared to do those things that He has planned for them.

If we will concentrate on making these three things central to our lives, we will have fulfilled our responsibilities as mothers. And if God declares us to be really good moms, who can argue with that?

Joyce Swann is a nationally-known author and speaker. Her own story of teaching her ten children from the first grade through master’s degrees before their seventeenth birthdays is retold in her book, Looking Backward: My Twenty-Five Years as a Homeschooling Mother. For more information visit her website at http://www.frontier2000.net/ or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.